He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
