What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
