Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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