that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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