YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
