It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
