He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
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Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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