dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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