I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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