what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
