I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
