so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
vagina is talking i cant
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
