it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
