She's JV to your varsity
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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