If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
