I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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