i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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