hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
