You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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