she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
