just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
