If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I had to cum in my sink.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize