its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Operation Purity has been aborted
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
