Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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