areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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