This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
