Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
