Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
