Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
