so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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