I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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