she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
