Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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