My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
