Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
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