I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
