i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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