so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
True strength comes from lack of pants
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
