Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
