were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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