Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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