Well apparently he's into motor boating.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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