I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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