Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize