It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
