he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Randomize
