Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
