Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
