At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
love makes seman taste better
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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