woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
