Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
