Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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