sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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