One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize