these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
