Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
