Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
