she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
