yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
