Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize