I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize