his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
