my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
