the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
