We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I don't want my vagina anymore.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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