I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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